~ pulling this one off the shelf ~
Welcome to Bikini Bottom Inquirer where investigative thrills are packed to the gills! I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown: Intro + Top Stories Community Poll: Most Handsome Man in Bikini Bottom NEWSFLASH: Beware of These Pranks Local Fry Cook and Unemployed Starfish's Bare Brawl Talking Squirrel Seen Flying a Rocket Ghosts in Bikini Bottom Perch Phone: Squilliam Fancyson, Bubble Bass, and DoodleBob The Lurch Report: Exclusive Interview with a Ghost BREAKING NEWS: The Krusty Krab is Haunted Community Poll Results + Outro