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Every episode
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
30 episodes
Your Toddler Isn’t Listening. Here’s Why.
Aug 11, 2026 · 29 min
How frustrating is it when our kids won't listen! A parent describes her exhausting visit to a relative's house that wasn't baby-proofed. Her 15-month old son became fixated on climbing stairs. She tried to use what she understands as gentle discipline to keep him safe, but after repeatedly saying, "I won't let you..." and then resorting to removing him from the stairs, she grew frustrated, took him outside for a walk, and then "spent most of it chastising myself for completely failing.” Janet e…
The Scary Things Kids Need to Tell Us
Aug 4, 2026 · 23 min
A parent is shaken when her five-year-old begins talking about death and saying she wants to die. Is this a warning sign? Shouldn't she be alarmed? Janet explains why these frightening statements—while they should always be taken seriously—are often very different from what parents fear, and why our instinct to reassure, explain, or shut the conversation down can unintentionally make things worse. She shares a compassionate approach that helps children feel safe enough to work through even their…
Painfully Shy in Public, Spirited at Home (What's Up with That?)
Jul 28, 2026 · 26 min
A parent describes her 3.5-year-old as fun, loud, and opinionated at home, but "painfully shy in every other social setting," even with relatives and peers she knows well. She's greeted with enthusiasm but won't join in. Instead, she asks her parent to play with her. This issue is especially noticeable at gymnastics, where she'll happily do an activity, then suddenly refuse to continue. No amount of encouragement will get her to budge. "It's like once she clams up, she can't get out of it." With…
Can We Overcome Our Upbringing?
Jul 21, 2026 · 26 min
A mother fears she's repeating the negative patterns that shaped her childhood and wonders if it's already too late to change. She writes that her mother used “guilt trips, the silent treatment, hitting, and what I would deem psychological abuse... She is who I learned to parent from.” While she has tried patience and reasoning with her kids, she still finds herself using harsh tones, lecturing, and yelling. "I don't know how to fix it." Janet explains why breaking these cycles isn't about becom…
A Child's Rocky Transition (Why It Means She's Doing Her Job)
Jul 14, 2026 · 23 min
A two-year-old's adjustment to a small in-home childcare setting isn't going well. She cries through much of day, flits from activity to activity, and seeks constant validation from the caregiver, repeatedly asking, "Do you like me?" This caregiver, who is also a parent of two toddlers, is baffled as to how she might be contributing to this apparent insecurity and wonders if the girl would be happier somewhere else. She's also feeling drained and overwhelmed by the situation. Janet offers her pe…
Gentle Parenting is Failing Parents. Here's Why.
Jul 7, 2026 · 39 min
What if the parenting approach that's supposed to make family life easier is actually making it harder? Many parents are discovering that what they thought was "gentle parenting" leaves them exhausted, second-guessing themselves, and struggling to set limits. Janet explains why the answer isn't a different label — it's confident leadership — and how this shift can transform family life, strengthen relationships, help children feel secure, and make parenting calmer, clearer, and far more effectiv…
Being Authentic When It Feels Mean
Jun 30, 2026 · 27 min
Can we be authentic with our kids without making them feel rejected? Is it wrong to find their behavior so annoying at times? A parent worries that saying "I don't want a hug right now" when she's feeling angry or annoyed will damage her relationship with her 3-year-old. Janet explores what genuine authenticity looks like with children, and how understanding a child's behavior makes it easier to respond with confidence and connection. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoB…
When Daily Tasks Turn Into Daily Battles: Transitions, Conflict, and Real Connection
Jun 23, 2026 · 30 min
A parent writes that her 5-year-old consistently resists getting dressed, brushing her hair, bathing, or brushing her teeth. "What starts as a simple transition can turn into an hour-long battle, with both of us ending up overwhelmed and the task often still unfinished." This mom has tried everything she can think of—timers, countdowns, reward charts, silly games, punishments—but nothing seems to help. Janet explains why these well-meaning strategies can sometimes work against connection, refram…
Peer Play. Using Our Power to Help Kids Thrive Socially
Jun 16, 2026 · 28 min
A 4-year-old struggles when friends won't follow her rules of play. A 3-year-old is reserved around other people. Another preschooler is routinely excluded from a group of friends. Janet weighs in on these issues and explores how parents may be playing a bigger role in these dynamics than they realize, and what they can do instead to encourage their kids to build confidence, resilience, and healthy social skills. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and…
How to Stop Kids from Interrupting
Jun 9, 2026 · 29 min
A parent wonders if it’s respectful—or even reasonable—to expect to sometimes have an adult conversation with her partner over dinner when their three-year-old constantly interrupts, protests, and demands attention. The situation leaves this mom questioning her approach to respectful parenting. Janet explores what children are truly ready for and how confidence in our boundaries makes all the difference, offering three practical bits of guidance to help parents approach these moments with greate…
The Answer to Hitting
Jun 2, 2026 · 23 min
A parent writes that she's struggling with her nearly 2.5-year old's hitting. Her toddler also talks a lot about pushing and hitting her friends "almost as if it's a joke." The parent's various attempts to curb this behavior aren't working, and she's feeling defeated. Meanwhile, the toddler's language is sounding increasingly intense and violent. Janet advises a reframe that's simpler than most parents might expect and applies to many other concerning childhood behaviors as well. Janet's "No Bad…
Dealing with Judgmental Comments About Our Parenting
May 26, 2026 · 26 min
A parent is concerned about the negative, judgmental comments her parents and in-laws make about her children’s behavior and their parenting. She writes that she and her husband try to implement Janet’s advice (with a mix of Montessori). While she says she isn’t personally offended by their old school opinions, she does worry about “the confusing, sometimes negative, shaming, mixed messages” and how those might affect her children. In this encore episode, Janet offers advice how she and her husb…
Potty Learning: How and Why to Let Children Lead the Way
May 19, 2026 · 26 min
While every child will eventually and inevitably learn to use the potty, the process can be stressful, frustrating, and often counterproductive for both the child and caregiver. Janet knows it doesn’t have to be this way. In this encore episode, she offers her perspective on the process and a potty learning method that recognizes a child’s natural motivation to achieve this milestone (they can do this), and how parents can support the effort without pressure, bribes, or deal-making. The result i…
How to Truly Connect When You Correct
May 12, 2026 · 26 min
A mother has questions about her three-year-old son's impulsive, dysregulated behavior and the differences in the way she and her husband are handling it. She handles these moments calmly and gently, while her husband tends to be firmer, requires the child to correct his actions, and uses language like "don't be destructive." She’s concerned that his response crosses a line from setting healthy limits into causing shame. He feels their son is more likely to act out when she’s around and is more…
How to Survive an Upset Child
May 5, 2026 · 33 min
When your child melts down, do you freeze, give in, or reach for a distraction trick? Janet explains why trying to stop the storm only makes it worse and how your own triggers and discomfort may be driving your response. She offers advice to help us hold boundaries, encourage our kids' resilience, and create lasting calm. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com…
We Can't Make Them Share
Apr 28, 2026 · 24 min
A parent describes a deceptively simple disagreement with her father about her 2.5-year-old son's unwillingness to share a bowl of blueberries. This mom doesn't believe a child will develop a generous spirit or other positive character traits by being coerced, but her father's more authoritarian view differs. Janet points out the nuances of the situation, which touch on big questions about sharing, boundaries, and raising kids who genuinely want to be kind. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is…
3 Reasons Your Toddler Rejects You for Their Other Parent
Apr 21, 2026 · 27 min
When a toddler plays favorites, it stings. One parent writes: "It feels as if I'm being rejected when I'm the one who's with her all day, putting so much energy into her care. It make me feel that I'm insufficient as a parent." Janet unpacks the surprising reasons behind parent preference —and the mindset that makes it stop. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com…
Setting Boundaries Without Power Struggles
Apr 14, 2026 · 22 min
A mother writes that she's been struggling with her 5-year-old daughter lately, who's been "provoking and testing boundaries on a new level." She has been especially harsh on her two-year old sibling, but when this mom and her partner step in, it inevitably leads to confrontation, tears, and hurtful words. Janet suggests an empathic approach—understanding the "why" behind this behavior -- and explains when, why, and how her approach to setting effective limits works. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master…
My Child Is So Mean to Me
Apr 7, 2026 · 28 min
A parent describes her 4-year-old daughter as smart, funny, incredibly strong-willed, but sometimes “downright mean.” While she appreciates her child’s spirit and doesn’t want to stifle that, when she says mean things to her she doesn’t feel it’s enough to simply acknowledge her daughter’s emotions and let slide her hurtful words and behavior. “I need her to find a better way to express that she is angry with me,” she writes. In this encore episode, Janet offers a perspective on the situation th…
Navigating the Playground with a Child Who Seems Too Physical, Bossy, Huggy, or Shy
Mar 31, 2026 · 30 min
Janet offers her advice for handling typical playground behaviors in preschool-aged children, such as physical aggression, bossiness, and shyness. Whether our child is exhibiting these behaviors or they're on the receiving end of another child's dysregulation, in this encore episode Janet shares how helping children to feel understood, protected, and supported encourages the most positive learning process. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com…
It's Never About the Watermelon: What's Really Behind Your Child's Behavior (And What Actually Helps)
Mar 24, 2026 · 29 min
When a toddler throws his fork, tips over his bowl, and falls apart over the wrong-sized watermelon pieces — what is really going on? In this episode, Janet responds to a mom of a two-and-a-half-year-old with a new baby just weeks away who describes her son's throwing, hitting, and increasingly impossible-to-please demands. She writes, "This completely breaks my heart and really stresses me out." Janet shares the one simple but counterintuitive shift that can change almost everything. Janet's "N…
How Forcing Kids to Do Stuff Backfires (And What to Do Instead)
Mar 17, 2026 · 28 min
A parent describes the power struggles he and his partner go through with their daughter to get her to brush her teeth. The process has deteriorated into a wrestling match. While on the one hand, the parents feel it's their responsibility to make sure their toddler's teeth get brushed. On the other, they sense that they are damaging their relationship, perhaps permanently. This dad writes: "Part of me thinks a calm, confident leader just gets it done, but getting it done currently means two adul…
The Joy of a Self-Entertained Toddler (Yes, It's Possible!)
Mar 10, 2026 · 29 min
In a previous 'Unruffled' episode, a parent reached out to Janet with concerns about her then 8-month-old son's play . "If I leave the room, he stands at the gate and screams and cries, even if he can see me and we are chatting." She wondered, "Should I work on doing some exposure therapy, so to speak, leaving the room for short periods of time.. ?" Janet suggested a more organic, relationship-centered approach, and then had a back and forth with this mom. Now, nearly two years later, the mom ha…
Why Parents Need RIE (with Melani Ladygo)
Mar 3, 2026 · 40 min
You may have heard Janet, other parents, or early childhood professionals speak about "RIE" (pronounced "rye"). Perhaps they described "RIE" as profound and life changing. Or maybe they outright panned it. They may have brought up elements that sounded odd or controversial or even ridiculous. You wondered what this was really all about. In this episode you'll hear RIE Executive Director Melani Ladygo and Janet respond thoroughly and passionately to the questions: What is RIE, and how does it hel…
Finding Your Voice for Setting Limits
Feb 24, 2026 · 24 min
A parent writes that she's become uncomfortable with the language she's using when setting limits with her daughter. She's using a lot of "if/then" ultimatums and doesn't like the suggestion of a threat. "I was an elementary school teacher for years before having children and am realizing I'm still recovering from all the behaviorism my teacher training instilled in me." She asks Janet "if there's another way you would suggest going about this." Janet recommends a simple adjustment this parent c…
Disturbing Things Kids Bring Home From School
Feb 17, 2026 · 24 min
A parent feels devastated by recent behavior her 5-year-old daughter has picked up from her peers. She has tried speaking calmly to her about the issue, but this hasn't helped. Janet offers what she hopes is a beneficial perspective that may help ameliorate her daughter's behavior. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch…
Demands, Wild Behavior, and Parent Guilt
Feb 10, 2026 · 36 min
A parent feels confused by her children's demands and wonders if her boundaries are too unclear. Another parent feels overwhelmed by her 4-year-old's emotional behavior at the preschool she opened at her home: "He's gotten increasingly unsafe, hitting, pushing, screaming, etc." She regrets she hasn't been able to be more trusting and acknowledges, "I know I'm putting an expectation on him that isn't fair." A third parent has been facing a series of personal hardships, and she worries that her sa…
Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)
Feb 3, 2026 · 49 min
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impact their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." In this encore episode, Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practi…
Raising Can-Do Kids
Jan 27, 2026 · 26 min
Inspired by a couple's Instagram video of their determined toddler, Janet shares a 4-step sequence of responses to encourage our kids to persevere, even through frustration. Deddeh Howard's video: https://www.instagram.com/p/DKfLwy0p2q-/?hl=en Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Separation Anxiety, Meltdowns... The Solution Is Often in Our Face
Jan 20, 2026 · 30 min
Janet responds to questions from two parents who describe their sensitive children struggling with separation, transitions, and general emotional overwhelm. One writes, “I go into panic mode when I see his eyes widen with worry,” while another admits, “I often see the meltdown coming… and don’t know how to help without making it worse.” Both parents admit they have their own strong emotional reactions to their kids' struggles including fear, guilt, and self-doubt. Janet points out how our own di…
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