PSYCH Caplan, a therapist and freelance author, has written a guidebook for parents developing new relationships with their adult children. Although the title indicates a focus on an adult child's nontraditional lifestyle, the relevance of the book is not limited to parent/adult child relationships far outside the mainstream. The author defines 'alternative' broadly and includes a range of lifestyles, from a decision to remain single to a gay partnership to membership in a cult or commune. Caplan states that a relationship must be maintained regardless of the areas of disagreement and that parents need to recognize the need for that bond and grieve for their lost hopes. Her advice to parents is based on two principles: find help for yourself and put love for your adult child above all else. Case examples and a bibliography are given in the appendixes. Recommended for public libraries Kay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll. , Wye Mills, Md. -