*The eyes looking back* is a collection of essays on feminism, anger, boundaries, and grief. Wide ranging in their inquiries, these essays touch on the subtle sexism of self-proclaimed feminist men, the difficulty of expressing desire and setting boundaries in the aftermath of childhood trauma, the psychiatrization of trauma and the junk science of the DSM, the experience of sexual assault through negligence rather than malicious intent, and the grief and pain of constrictive gender roles, heteronormativity, and objectification. These essays are compassionate and curious while insisting on the importance of anger and the necessity of telling the truth. List of essays When you say I seem angry, I get more angry: Why your anti cancel culture fave is still a fucking feminist The substitutes we accept for love Sexual assault through negligence As forcefully as the moment demands: On boundaries, anger, and messy break ups I'm so angry, I don't think it will ever pass The humiliation of desire: On asking for what I want Other people's disappointment The eyes looking back: On my refusal to be an object and what this can sometimes make men feel