The postbag of Malcolm Bradbury - academic, author, lecturer, thinker - is crammed with requests for help and advice. 'Please help me with my thesis on the campus novel', 'Please come and talk to my faculty in remote area of the Scottish Highlands', 'Please adapt a classic novel for television', and so on. In reply, Malcolm Bradbury has prepared a book of imaginary letters to cover any request he may receive. There is a letter of thanks for his invitation to talk to three hostile students in a stuffy room and pass the night in a barn; a reply to the European student who wishes to know if he is the same person as David Lodge and which of the two stole his supervisor's umbrella; a letter describing the experience of being the academic who has cycled to L'Escargot for television production meetings; and scathingly funny letters on structuralism, the cuts in education and a great deal more. Above all, they may spare the author from having to write an autobiography.